(Nimue)
We each experience the world in our own precise way. This is informed by our experiences and beliefs, our expectations, choices and behaviour. We get some say in that, and it is possible to radically change how you experience life, although it isn’t easy, and the more dramatically you want to change your perspective, the more work it takes.
This is especially relevant around spirituality. Two people in the same ritual will not experience that ritual in the same way. Shared experiences can mean radically different things to people. It’s important to have space for that and not to try and dictate how people ‘should’ feel or what their experiences are ‘supposed’ to mean.
It can be disorientating when someone else’s take on an experience is radically different from your own. It can leave you feeling that either you must be wrong, or they must be wrong. Life is often much more plural and complex than that. Much of the time it’s not too hard to manage having a different take on things, but sometimes it can become really problematic.
What do you do when someone else asserts that their version of reality is right, and yours is wrong? This happens a lot around spirituality. When it happens in the context of massive power imbalances, people can be forced to act as though they accept a reality that is not real for them. That’s a really psychologically damaging thing to experience. That kind of controlling can be done deliberately in the context of cults, and other abusive, manipulative situations.
At the same time it is of course possible to be wrong. We can all misunderstand things or not have a context for making sense of what we’re experiencing. Some of us jump at shadows. Sometimes being told that you’ve got it wrong is a helpful thing, if you can hear it. In safe and sane situations, there’s evidence to back up the right take, or explanations that make sense. In healthy situations, a challenge to your perceptions is likely to improve things for you, not distress you.
Being able to relate to a consensus reality is vital for our mental health and practical functionality. Being able to hold our own understandings of things is also vital. Healthy situations will let you have your own take on things to a fair degree, and unhealthy situations will tend to want to control your understanding and keep it in line with someone else’s view.
These are not easy things to judge. Perhaps the most useful question to ask is how able to function effectively you are. Being able to function effectively indicates having a healthy relationship with reality. Problems in functioning, difficulty making decisions and not being able to get the outcomes you expected can suggest that you might not have a good or useful understanding of what’s going on. If someone else is trying to impose a reality on you to control you, then the ways in which that impacts on your functionality can feel like you’re going mad, not like you’re being manipulated. It’s not easy to recognise this when it’s happening.
Druid Life 
These are great observations, and they make me wonder: are there any Druid communities that have turned into cults or other high-control type situations? I know that druidry is supposed to be non-hierarchical, but given human nature I suppose anything is possible.
This is all really wise. “In healthy situations, a challenge to your perceptions is likely to improve things for you…” This has been true for me. These challenges have been a hallmark of my life’s journey, but they were at times distressing, as having your paradigm undermined can be. 😉
I believe reality is more fluid than we recognize, more malleable according to our perceptions. But we are so conditioned to accept the idea of Absolute Right. (The language of cult?) To me, the question is, “Are you happy?” If the “voices in your head” (real or metaphorical) are making you miserable, then it’s an indication that you’re probably not on the right path, not dwelling in a “reality” that serves you. If you’re happy and experiencing something of personal fulfillment, then you’re in a good place. This is similar to your “functionality test,” which I also think is good. We need to function to some extent within the collective (although, maybe some don’t, and that’s okay, too.) and to be content within ourselves.
Very interesting, thought-provoking post! Thanks!
I really like where you’ve gone with this.
‘This is especially relevant around spirituality. Two people in the same ritual will not experience that ritual in the same way. Shared experiences can mean radically different things to people. It’s important to have space for that and not to try and dictate how people ‘should’ feel or what their experiences are ‘supposed’ to mean.’
This is exactly the approach we take in ritual and with revelations from the Gods at the Monastery of Annwn. When we share our experiences, even though all of us worship Gwyn ap Nudd, they are remarkably diverse and the richer for it. Gwyn once told me the story of His birth was like the jewel in His forehead – there are as many stories as the facets of His jewel. I like to think of spiritual experience being like that.
Edward Butler speaks about the ‘fractal’ nature of cosmology. Of many different creation myths existing at the same time and being equally true. I think this is the approach we need to take as our traditions grow rather than trying to establish one correct myth or vision of the Gods and cosmos.
I love this.