Changing my relationship with food

(Nimue)

I’ve never previously had a good relationship with food. I suspect a lot of it comes from how rationing around the Second World War impacted on my family. Grandmothers giving food in emotionally loaded ways, as an expression of care and perhaps also self-sacrifice. Fear of scarcity. Not being allowed to decline food. Being obliged to accept what is given and not express preferences. Not having the room to say either that I was hungry, or that I was full.

I suspect the impact on the generations who lived through rationing is considerable. I know those early experiences informed how my mother wanted to relate to food, and a lot of boomers were keen not to cook, and to have ready meals and processed food. I suspect that was a reaction to privation and having to think  lot about how to make food work.

I usually think about food in three ways – what’s affordable, what’s nutritious and what’s least harmful to the environment. In recent years I’ve turned away from all notions of dieting in favour of trying to eat what best supports my mental health and gives me the energy to be active.

At the same time mostly I haven’t liked food. When I’m depressed, eating at all is a fight. When I’m stressed, my gut malfunctions anyway. Eating has often been an uncomfortable necessity.

Eating is a profoundly natural activity that binds us into eco-systems and the living world. What we eat is a major daily act of engagement with nature.  When it comes to Druidry I have been tending to see food consumption purely in terms of environmental impact. I’m in the process of changing tack.

I’m trying to put down the shame and anxiety I have around food by reminding myself that I need to eat, and that I am allowed to eat. I am allowed to want food, and to enjoy food. I am also allowed to say no to food that I don’t need, or want or like.

It helps having a good role model for this. My partner deeply appreciates food, and has been keen to share that love and joy with me. He’s a great cook, and has been trying to figure out what I would like and enjoy. I’ve not really explored food on these terms before, so it’s an interesting process. I am developing preferences. I have a favourite kind of olive, and I like having a really broad array of plants in my diet. I have preferences about spice levels, and textures.

I want to change my relationship with food into one of delight and appreciation. I’m giving space to seeking my own joy, and to unpicking the anxieties that surround both meals and the expression of preferences. I’ve been in this process for a little while now. It’s also made me realise that I can change and unpick and remake absolutely anything I want to. That’s given me the confidence to go after my most serious triggers and to start tackling the absolute worst of them. I’ll come back and talk about that process when I’m further along.

Crafting and magic

(Nimue)

This is the first rag rug I’ve made in a while, and the first one made specifically for the living space I share with Keith. It provides a second life for worn out socks, dead t-shirts and a dress I was very fond of but that was falling apart. It’s a mixing together of our lives, our histories and our old clothes. There’s a certain amount of magic in that. It’s also an expression of intent about the future, and a life together. 

Magical practice is very much about focusing your intent. Crafting takes a lot of time and intention, so the two can go together rather well. This rug is not a spell exactly, but it is willful transformation of worn out things into something new. It’s an act of keeping fabric out of landfill and a commitment to living responsibly.  It’s an expression of love and joy that will sit around in the living room being happy and joyful for some time to come.

I like having unique items, and this kind of upcycling is a way of doing that. The fabric in the rug is full of stories and memories. The colours are the colours we wear, so it reflects us and suits the space. I worked on it with life going on, with documentaries on in the background, with music, so it carries the resonance of all sorts of things that happened around it during the making process.

Making anything creates change and possibility. There is magic in crafting and creating. It’s an enchanting process. I find crafting to be good for my mental health, it soothes me and clears my head. Making is magic, and making magic can involve making other things.

Being ill, being green

(Nimue)

Being ill makes it considerably harder to live sustainably. This can take many different forms. For us, it has included a bunch of things Keith needed that could only be sent to landfill after use. There’s more packaging to deal with, more that is consumed because more is needed. Travel has increased – regular hospital appointments have resulted in a lot of driving. We don’t have the public transport infrastructure to get people to and from hospitals comfortably or efficiently. When you’re ill you really don’t want the extra stress of dealing with unreliable buses, long waits, and longer days trying to get about.

Food waste has gone up. It’s harder when you are ill to make good choices about what you might be able to eat, and how much of it. Normally we’re close to zero food waste as a household, but in recent weeks that’s just not been possible. Illness can also impact on what kinds of food you’re able to eat and this can make it harder to go for more sustainable choices.

Being ill takes time and energy. This can make it unfeasible to do things in slower and more environmentally friendly ways. Walking and cycling for transport aren’t feasible if you are ill. Time and energy saving shortcuts become more tempting, but they all use more resources.

You might find you need more heating, that you have more laundry, or that you need to buy new clothes. Illness can cause changes in body shape. Weight loss is common around illness. Around cancer treatment you are encouraged to gain weight ahead of treatment because it improves outcomes. Some meds cause weight gain.

All of this costs money. You may not have the resources for it, and not being able to work will impact dramatically on some people. That in turn means cutting budgets where you can and not being able to afford those more sustainable but more expensive options.

There are some things I really want people to take away from this. The first one is that not everyone has a lot of choices about how they live. You can’t always tell who is ill and they might not let you know. Tackling these kinds of issues as an individual in a system that doesn’t take care of ill people very well and doesn’t make greener choices easy, is tough. It will be beyond some people.

It’s really important not to shame people for not living up to your standards. It’s easy not to think about this stuff if you haven’t dealt with it. Suggesting that no one needs to buy new clothes, or that everyone can eat vegan are cases in point here – both things I’ve seen done. Sustainability without compassion becomes a kind of eco-fascism. If the revolution doesn’t have room for ill, impoverished and otherwise vulnerable people, it isn’t going to work.

Rest and Druidry

(Nimue)

I talk a lot about Druidry in terms of what we do, and that runs the risk of making it sound like being a good Druid calls for lots of effort and busyness. It doesn’t have to. Too much trying to do stuff can result in a lot of noise and motion, but no substance.

Resting is a good and meaningful thing to do as a deliberate part of your Druid practice. Mammals are supposed to rest, and other mammals invest time in that. Resting is a really good way of connecting with and honouring your animal self. Working with nature as it manifests in your own body is an important part of how we connect with the rest of the natural world. Flopped out, being a mammal being natural and making space for that experience is really good stuff to be doing.

Resting is not just sustainable, it’s also restorative. You aren’t consuming resources or using much energy when you’re resting and it may support you in using less at other times. Being well rested might give you more options on other low-carbon activities that do call for effort (walking, cycling etc). It’s also radical activism – self-care without consumption, not being economically active, and not being busy are all good ways of taking some respite from the relentlessness of capitalism. 

You can mix rest and meditation, but don’t be too workish about the meditation side! Rest is best combined with softer and more contemplative approaches. Gaze out of the window for a while, hold a nice rock and let your mind wander around it. Reflect on things in a non-structured way. Emotional processing takes time and we benefit from having the chance to digest what’s going on in our lives. Restful time lets us gently get to grips with our own experiences and that’s good on many levels. Let the monkey brain chatter away freely and be with that part of your animal self, too. 

Resting is the basis of being kind to yourself. If you can’t allow yourself the most basic and essential things, it’s hard to feel kind. Cultivating kindness and compassion is a good Druid thing to be doing, and it is entirely valid to practice this on yourself. The more you learn about what forms of kindness you need, the more you have to bring to other people who might well need your kindness. Slowing down and moving gently makes it a lot easier to be patient and compassionate. When we don’t feel threadbare and frantic ourselves, we’re much better placed to support the people around us.

Greener from scratch

(Nimue)

Often, cooking from scratch is the greener choice. It tends to result in a lot less packaging, especially in terms of single use plastics. It’s really noticeable around the bread that I can get several loaves from one paper bag of flour, where if I’d bought those loaves in a supermarket there would have been more packaging and some of it would have been plastic.

If I bring home loose vegetables and make soup, there’s not much packaging. Even if I buy vegetables in packaging there’s still less packaging than there would be if I did things another way. All very good and virtuous, and as I can do this sort of thing, I feel strongly that I should.

At the same time, there’s a lot of privilege at play here. I’ve got the time to make bread. Not everyone does. I’ve got the energy to do some of the cooking. I didn’t used to have that, and during the worst of the low blood pressure, things like standing up, using sharp knives and handling boiling water were risky activities.

Being seriously ill takes up a lot of time. Managing ongoing illness is itself a lot of work. People who are ill and disabled often aren’t able to work full time so are more limited in their choices thanks to the poverty they are likely to endure. Not having time and energy to spare is a real barrier to cooking from scratch.

If your illness affects your ability to digest food, then your options for cutting back on meat, dairy, or processed food might be seriously limited. If you’re managing diabetes you might be very glad of the precise information you can get from packaged food about exactly what percentage of sugars and carbs are in it. 

Whenever we look at greener options, it’s really important to consider how privilege intersects with this. On the whole, the less affluent someone is the less harm they will be doing in the first place. It’s those who have the most who cause the most harm. Those of us who have some privilege have a responsibility to take more action to live sustainably. No one should be made to feel ashamed for not being able to be green in some specific way because their illness or disability makes that impossible for them. ‘If you can’ is a good way to frame suggestions when you want to encourage people to try greener options.

(This isn’t an excerpt from my book on sustainability, but it’s the sort of thing you can find in said book. More over here – collectiveinkbooks.com/moon-books/our-books/earth-spirit-beyond-sustainability )

Greener and happier (with an octopus)

(Nimue)

This is my new octopus, as yet unnamed. I made him out of a pair of trousers that were too damaged for further use in trouser form. He’s stuffed with an old cardigan that had gone beyond all scope for use or repair. By this means, a quantity of fabric stays in use for a while longer.

The octopus is also a draft excluder. There was a visible gap under the door and as we head towards winter, that would have been an issue. The upcycled octopus will serve to keep the flat warm and snug, thus cutting down on heating bills and energy use, so he’s a green win on that score, too.

I had a lot of fun making him. He’s a cheery creature, and I shall enjoy seeing him nestling at the door. His presence seems protective, and he may do more than keep out drafts. There’s a lot of joy in this process, and in the pleasure of having something silly that I’ve made myself and that isn’t like anything else in the world. The dead clothing that has gone into him adds to the story and the presence of the finished creature. It’s a very rich sort of process.

This is often the way with it when you’re being green. There’s scope for more richness, originality and value than the other options give you. It’s an opportunity to form real relationships with objects and with the space you inhabit. There’s room for joy, innovation and creativity – these are precious things that add so much to life.

Being green is easier when you can see how it works. If it feels like being kind to the environment means depriving yourself of good things, you will struggle to do it. When greener living means happier living then why wouldn’t you?

If this way of thinking interests you, I invite you to check out my book – Earth Spirit: Beyond Sustainability – Authentic Living at a Time of Climate Crisis.

Green technology

(Nimue)

Like many Druids I’m very keen on science and entirely open to the wise development of technology. At the same time I feel very strongly that we cannot expect to tech our way out of the climate crisis. As a species, we have to reduce how much we use and destroy. We can’t keep on as we are while expecting science and new technology to make that feasible for us and for the planet.

Often tech that claims to be green is sold to us on the basis of being more efficient than some other existing technology. This can be misleading – especially if you don’t really know how inefficient and problematic the other tech really is. What we really need to be doing is comparing new tech to doing things by hand. How efficient is a mode of transport compared to walking, for example?

Here’s an interesting example – the power it takes to run an electric bike takes less generating than increasing your calorie intake to power a bike. 

I’ve recently acquired a washing machine that can handle laundry effectively at 15 degrees C, while using very little detergent. This is better, environmentally speaking than I can manage hand washing – I’ve done a lot of handwashing. I can’t do it effectively at that temperature nor can I do it with that little detergent, at which point the technology clearly offers something worth having.

Greater efficiency is always good, but it may not be the biggest issue. One of the things we most urgently need with manufactured goods is to get rid of built-in obsolescence. We need the right to repair, and the means to repair. Throwing away devices because one part is broken and cannot be fixed or replaced is incredibly wasteful and destructive. It does however help companies make a profit, and profit is considered more important than the planet, this is unlikely to change.

The impact of fashion, and the pressure to consume have an impact on how we view technology. We get sold things on the basis that their newness makes them attractive. Better than ever, faster, and perhaps even more efficient – the value of getting a new whatever never seems to take into account the impact of getting rid of something that was working perfectly well. At least some objects will be taken away by the people who sold you the new one, and that does help us. It would be better if manufacturers had responsibility for the full lives of their products and I suspect that would do a lot to shift their priorities. The cost of disposal tends to fall on local councils in the UK, and thus on all of us. This could stand a rethink.

Technology isn’t the simple answer to the climate crisis. Better technology has it’s advantages, but we need to rethink how we sell and consume items, and how they work within the framework of our societies. Reusing, re-purposing, recycling, repairing and improving what we already have without replacing it all need to be part of the mix.

For more thoughts on sustainable living, check out my book – Earth Spirit Beyond Sustainability If you get an ebook from the publisher before the end of August, use the code SUMMER23 and it will be half price. All of my Moon Books titles are in this sale.

Going green – play to your strengths

It’s all too easy to end up feeling overwhelmed by all the things you might be doing to live a more sustainable life. However, if you play to your strengths you’ll do the most good you can in a way that has the best chance of being sustainable for you. There’s no point going vegan, giving up the car and pledging never to buy new clothes again if you can only keep that up for a week. Meaningful action has to be for the longer term so it means looking for the things you can most realistically change.

It helps if there’s something you are especially passionate about. Surfers are often passionate about keeping sewerage and plastics out of the sea, as an obvious example. People who are already enthusiastic about walking and cycling are off to a head start for improving their transport choices. If you like sewing, then keeping clothes in use is more realistic for you.

I have a deep love of gift economy. That means keeping things out of landfill via charity shop donations and freegle works well for me. It’s an easy, happy thing.

It’s worth looking around for the options that align with your preferences. If you want to save money, there are plenty of greener choices that will help you do that. If you’re passionate about food, then sourcing well and avoiding food waste are good issues to explore. If you’re into fitness and body health then becoming your own mode of transport as much as possible makes sense.

If there are things you know you would struggle to change or to give up, don’t start there. Do what looks easiest. Make the changes that aren’t going to depress you. Think about the things that would take you towards the kind of life you actually want to lead. That might mean reducing single use packaging in your home by cooking everything from scratch because you love cooking. It might mean making your own soap so as to have nicer soap as well as being more environmentally friendly. You might decide to grow your own fruit because you love gardening, and so forth. 

You won’t be able to do everything from scratch in the most sustainable way. You won’t be able to source everything you need second hand or grow it yourself. It’s important to be realistic. I can’t afford to buy everything I need in optimal ways, but I can get my soap and shampoo from my local eco-shop while supporting a charity I care about, and that’s something, and therefore worth doing. Don’t feel that your efforts are invalid if you can’t go as far as you want – focus on what you can do.

Making changes you can sustain is a really good choice. It helps against feelings of despair and powerlessness. If everyone made the changes they could most easily make we’d get a lot done quickly. It is the people who have most who most urgently need to do that – giving up their cruise holidays, their private jets, yachts, helicopters, second homes, third homes… In face of the resource squandering by those who have most it is important to remember firstly that there is some point in doing what you can and secondly that those doing most harm need to change the most. Refusing to aspire to those toxic, destructive lifestyles is a good place to start, and an easy, sustainable thing that the rest of us can do. Wanting to be envied is certainly part of what’s going on there, and being met instead with disgust might have some effect. Cultures can change and we are not obliged to look up to the people who are killing the planet.

If this sort of approach appeals to you, then do please have a look at my book on going beyond sustainability – https://www.collectiveinkbooks.com/moon-books/our-books/earth-spirit-beyond-sustainability

You can get the ebook half price from the publisher at the moment, using the code SUMMER23

Going Green

(Nimue)

If going green feels difficult, you might not even try. If you want to persuade someone else, then making it easy is clearly going to be the most persuasive option. Here are some tips.

Start with something that aligns with things you actively want. Saving money works well for most people. Looking for efficient, low waste, durable options is a good way of being greener while doing yourself a favour.

Sometimes you can be greener by doing nothing at all. No Mow May is a great opportunity to feel virtuous by doing nothing. Look for opportunities to be good by making less effort. Don’t go to all the hassle of replacing things that are fine. Don’t spend money on new things you don’t even need. Don’t obsessively clean everything all the time. Be kinder to yourself and the planet at the same time.

Look for the easy swaps. There are plenty of environmentally friendly things that don’t cost more, aren’t lower quality and will easily replace the things you were using. This applies to health and beauty products, cleaning products, laundry stuff and things of that ilk. Swap in something that does less harm.

Do things that directly benefit you. Eating a lot of fruit and veg (if you can) is better for your body than eating a lot of animal products and refined starches. It’s also better for the planet. Taking some of your journeys on foot or cycling (if you can) improves your health and fitness, while cutting out the short car journeys has a benefit to the environment. Putting fewer chemicals into your home environment is better for you, and for the rest of the world.

There are a lot of people out there pushing the idea that to be environmentally friendly we have to give up all the nice things and be miserable. It isn’t true. We can actually have a better quality of life if we move away from the things that harm people and planet alike.

If this sort of thing appeals to you, then you might want to check out my book – https://www.collectiveinkbooks.com/moon-books/our-books/earth-spirit-beyond-sustainability

With the sweat of your brow

(Nimue)

There is a scene in a Star Trek film that has stayed with me, where someone explains to Picard why they are choosing to do things in slower and more traditional ways. In this future setting, machines can do anything for you, but we often see Star Trek characters choosing to do things the slow way instead. As that scene made explicit, it’s because for everything a machine gives you, it also takes something away. There’s a realness in making things by hand.

These words are fragile, ephemeral things. A hand written document has a better chance at long term survival than something on a website. Technology moves on, and things that relate to the old technology become obsolete and are forgotten.

Some things done the slow way are less fun than others. I admit that handwashing hasn’t been much of a joy to me, and it’s tough on my hands, and I’m not honestly sorry to take that one off my list. I’d like to do more cooking from scratch – I used to cook everything from scratch, and that hasn’t been feasible for a while, because my energy levels have been so limited.

It is my understanding that when machinery was introduced into the weaving trade, that what it did at the beginning was to replace the scope for workers doing the creative part of the job, while continuing to expose them to every hazard of the process, and requiring them to keep doing the really dull bits. Technology isn’t always much of a benefit.

Often the focus when we replace something with technology, is saving money. Specifically, saving money for whoever owns the business. We’d use technology very differently if the primary aim was to enhance everyone’s quality of life. Replacing human effort with machine labour doesn’t automatically do that, because there are intrinsic rewards in making something for yourself. There’s creativity to explore, pride, delight and social reward to be had when we make things for ourselves. 

John Ruskin had some interesting things to say about the ways in which it is the imperfection of the work that expresses its humanity and aliveness to us. We can get machines to churn out identical things in a way that people can’t, but there’s an anonymous, impersonal quality to such objects. When we demand that people act like machines and churn out identical things, that’s dehumanising to both the maker and the person buying whatever is produced.

When eyeing up a piece of technology, it may be obvious what the machine is supposed to give us. It is also worth asking what the machine will take away. What would we have more of without it? There’s a power in being able to make and repair things with our own hands and often that’s worth more than just dealing with something quickly and with little effort.

If the technology enables you to do more or frees you from doing something that makes you unhappy, that’s well worth a thought. We all value different things, and most of us don’t have the resources of time and energy to do everything from scratch. It makes sense to pick the things that most appeal and dodge the things that don’t.