(Nimue)
For many years now, I’ve been following a blog called Your Rainforest Mind. Paula Prober works with gifted young people, and also supports the adults they eventually become. I started following because it was helpful to me as a parent. Over the years I’ve seen her talk about many things that I recognise in my friends, and just occasionally, things that are familiar to me, as well.
One thing she’s come back to repeatedly is the way in which bright kids can be shamed by adults for being clever. Using ‘know it all’ and similar terms as a criticism and a put down makes clever kids anxious about their abilities. I suspect on top of that it will also shut down a lot gentle, not-so-brilliant kids who will also become afraid of saying what they know because they’re getting a clear message that it isn’t welcome or wanted.
Enthusiasm for learning is a wonderful thing, and knocking that out of a child is inexcusable. I know a lot of very clever adults who are deeply enthusiastic about things they know, and very much want to share. They don’t do that to make other people feel small or put them down, it’s just enthusiasm and joy in the subject. I can think of far too many occasions when I’ve been apologised to by people who had just enthusiastically told me a thing and I’ve had to reassure them that it was welcome.
Granted, it can be annoying if you know a lot about a topic and someone tries to lecture you in it. In my experience this often comes from people who don’t know much at all and who assume you are slightly more ignorant than they are. People who are enthusiastic about what they know tend to respond enthusiastically to finding other people who are interested in the same things. That tends not to result in anyone feeling got at.
I wonder how much of it comes down to projection. The assumption that sharing what you know is a power move, or a put down might well say more about the insecurities or inclinations of the person objecting than anything else. It might be an issue for people whose own struggles mean they feel threatened if they aren’t the best at everything or are shown up as not being perfect.
I delight in finding people who know things I don’t, and who are willing to invest time in getting me up to speed. Part of my approach to Druidry includes a commitment to learning whenever I can. I can’t imagine anyone genuinely drawn to the Druid path would want to put someone else down for sharing knowledge.
For me what this raises are questions about how best to support exceedingly clever young humans. Also I’m thinking about how to better support some of the stunningly clever adults in my life who have clearly already been through enough of this kind of treatment to be affected by it.
Druid Life 
Another aspect to this is the disappointment piled onto kids of whom much was expected but who failed to measure up to those expectations, for all the various reasons it might happen. In my case it was expectation that I would achieve academic greatness without any practical support from those who expected it of me.
That’s an important aspect – and something else that Paula talks about a lot, there’s a lot of it out there. The weight of expectation gives a lot of clever kids a hard time. I am sorry you had to face that without support, but I do suspect there’s a tendency to assume some things just happen by magic.
I suspect you’re very right about that, unfortunately.
I can only speak for the States, but it’s been my observation here that our educational system is really geared toward encouraging people to occupy a “middle ground” that will produce good office workers. It has very little to do with encouraging gifts.
That tallies with what I’ve seen here. It’s not about opportunity or making the best use of people, even.
True! To “make the best use” of anyone is to allow them their highest fulfillment. This is something we must collectively re-learn, IMO.