Being Pleased With Ourselves

We are mighty

Because our team scored more points than the other lot

And we cheered (but cannot play to save our lives)

And yet, we are mighty.

 

We are important

We bought the thing important people are buying this year

And used it ineptly, wore it awkwardly

See ourselves getting ahead.

 

We are heard

Along with thousands of other people we phoned in

To choose the celebrity who will shortly be forgotten

We were heard, we mattered.

 

We are powerful

Because our country has expensive weapons no sane person would ever use

And is good at exploiting workers in distant lands

Behold our national identity.

 

We will vote

For the person we are told can actually win this

Because the key thing is to be seen backing a winning horse

Not what comes out of the horse’s mouth.

 

We are pleased with ourselves

Because we dare not think otherwise.

It’s all fine if you ignore the consequences

And we’re terribly good at doing that.

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