Like most female-appearing people on the internet, I get my share of weird approaches from men I barely know. It was worse back when I wrote smut, because a lot of people infer writing smut as consent to anything – something that has caused me problems in all kinds of contexts.
I’ve never found bodies attractive out of context. I fall in love with people and the people I fall in love with I find attractive. I have a weakness for high cheek bones, and that’s about it. I have fallen in love with people online, it’s something I can do, but it has always been about ideas, creativity, what was shared, and not pictures of body parts.
The following poem is mostly full of things that happened – not all in a romantic context, but, things I find appealing versus things I don’t.
How to be sexy
Don’t send me dick picks.
Not unless I asked for them because
If I am not hot for you
Evidence of your fleshy appendage will not
Seduce me, may amuse me and laughter
Tends to offend, so let’s not.
If I want to look at genitals
I can do that with no pressure
To divert anyone else.
Your thing is not the thing
To sweep me off my feet.
Send me a picture of the impossible creature
You imagined, drew, crafted in soap
Tell me about sexy maths
By all means, show me what you made
Out of mashed potato, cogs, daydreams.
Which philosopher are you turned on by?
Tempt me with imaginary saints
Or your three wheeled steam powered trike.
I want your landscape porn, your food porn
Show me your poetry videos.
Send me a play list of music
In a language I do not speak.
Show me your nerdy toy collection, your cosplay,
Your cats, your knitting, show me anything
I might care about. Could enjoy.
Talking is seductive. Ideas are erotic.
The brain is the most powerful sexual organ
In the human body.
Show me you are more than a way
Of getting your dick from place to place.
Be human with me.
It’s a low set bar.