I’ve never much liked how I look. As a child, I heard a lot that I was funny looking, that I had a fat face and was a bit of an embarrassment. I’ve never felt at ease in my own skin, and I’ve never really presented my face like it was a good thing.
A while ago, I started an instagram account with the intention of trying to challenge how I feel about myself. I’ve not invested much time in it. But, isolation has led to some curious exchanges via the interwebs and sharing my face has become a thing I need to do. And something to figure out how to do well.
I’ve been digging out the body paints. I am an interesting surface to try and paint on, and that’s a good challenge – enough to be engaging but not too hard. It’s a different way of thinking about my face, and my body. It feels odd to me to be going ‘here is my face’ like this is some sort of good news, but the paint certainly helps.
Sharing my face this last week – with photos and in the ongoing Wherefore videos on my youtube channel, I have not been at my best. I’m sleeping badly, some days I look like I’ve been punched. Smiling is sometimes beyond me. And yet, weirdly, this week has been the one where I’ve felt easiest about sharing the messy reality that is my face.
Druid Life 
Curious. As a child I too was called out for oddness, mostly because asthma made it impossible to bond in physical games. I was never cool with my younger appearance, and yet now I’m on the mature end of the cheese spectrum I’ve never been happier. Our ishness is certainly shaped by our physical container, but how much of us is our shape? Like the song, “I want to break free”, are we bound by our skin or can we adapt it to a place where we more wish to adopt it? I’m constantly reminded of a piece of doggerel I wrote back when things got a bit complicated. I still hold firm to it. https://rosher.net/2013/09/11/heres-a-passworded-post/
gods, I remember when you wrote that one. that feels like an age ago. x
Nice share, Nimue. We all end up with the face we deserve and yours looks good.
Looks awesome (I commented in Insta) 🌺 Have a lovely day!
I like your face!
Similar stuff happened to me as a child too
Liking the ‘like’ but sorry to hear you’ve been through this too.
Lovely. Suits you. And the background of your room 🙂 I used to wear a lot of vivid make-up and glitter and stick on stars and hearts and things in my goth/eighties days but never really experimented with face paint.