It isn’t a pause. Nothing has stopped, and the ‘pause’ bit technically refers to stopping bleeding, which may be years away for me.
Peri-menopausal is an awkward mouthful of a term, it’s not something I can live inside. It does nothing for me.
So far, the material I’ve found has just flagged up all the bad bits. There’s nothing I can work with. Nothing I feel empowered or encouraged by. I suspect this is because our culture values youth and sexual fertility in women, and not age or wisdom.
As a practical point, my skin now takes offence at everything, including my own sweat. I seem to spend a lot of time slinking off to the bathroom to wash afflicted regions. Water is fine. This leads me to the logical conclusion that I am trying to transform into an aquatic mammal, and this in turn brings me very naturally to the menoporpoise.
I see the menoporpoise as friendly and benevolent, but not always convenient. It means well, but it is in essence a large aquatic mammal trying to swim about inside my life, and sometimes that’s going to be complicated. We will have to learn to get along, the menoporpoise and I.
Our lives and experiences are informed and shaped by the language we use and the stories we tell. How we name things, how we talk of them is important stuff. For easily a year now, my body has been changing. I don’t want the cultural narratives of menopause. But perhaps I can work with a menoporpoise and change into something new.
September 6th, 2017 at 10:39 am
Now this I can identify with. I like the idea of a menoporpoise!
September 6th, 2017 at 10:54 am
I love this idea!
September 6th, 2017 at 11:44 am
hAh! Love this idea, what a creative response. And yes, there is little positive texts/materials about becoming an older woman, because of course, we are only valuable while we reproduce /sarcasm
September 6th, 2017 at 12:14 pm
I love being an older woman if that’s any help. The menoporpoise is some way behind me now but I am fitter, healthier and my body is stronger than when I was a young one. I am now free of worrying or caring what others think of me, what I say or what I do, I say no to things I do not
wish to do and make space for what I love. Being a crone is a pleasure and something to look forward to not be afraid of.
September 6th, 2017 at 3:32 pm
thank you for that!
September 7th, 2017 at 4:11 am
YES! I agree with Yvonne very much. I am loving being 51, being in love, feeling almost free of my teenage son’s needs for care and supervision. Life feels exciting, and I am fit and strong, plus full of gratitude. Being a silver-haired crone rocks! (Which is partly why I called my blog bone&silver) : ) G
September 7th, 2017 at 8:08 am
Love the title of your blog 🙂 I’m 63 next week and loving every minute of it still. It’s all to look forward to isn’t it.
September 7th, 2017 at 10:40 am
Absolutely! Whatever we lose, we seem to gain double in blessings in other ways, it’s amazing
September 6th, 2017 at 12:43 pm
they bring attention to problems and they solve problems.
September 6th, 2017 at 4:19 pm
Yes, perimenopause, or puberty backwards as I like to think of it. Thank goodness it’s over for me now. Like Yvonne I feel wonderful now and don’t understand what all the younger women are afraid of. It’s the best time of your life!
September 6th, 2017 at 6:37 pm
Oh Nimue, you will find getting older has many benefits. We really do find that our inner self is AWESOME and we don’t care what anyone thinks! My Pause and Porpoise are both far behind me and I couldn’t be happier! It only gets better, even if it also gets weirder. LOL
September 7th, 2017 at 4:12 am
YES YES YES, love what all these women are saying! Listen to the women and crones, not just the medical texts (written by men) about our ageing xx
September 7th, 2017 at 3:35 pm
See how wise we all get as we get older Nimue 🙂
September 8th, 2017 at 6:31 am
I feel I have a long way to go 🙂
September 8th, 2017 at 8:50 am
Is that to get old Nimue? I’d say you’re already wise 🙂