I become uneasy when people start brandishing the word ‘fun’ about, from experience it’s seldom good news. So, for your amusement, here are some fun phrases with possible interpretations.
“It will be fun” It will be fun for me and I expect you to go along with this.
“It’s just a bit of harmless fun” I just did something horrible – racist, sexist, cruel, trolling etc, and I’m fine with that. I will also say this to defend things like fox hunting and rape jokes, and to dismiss the victim.
“I thought we were just having fun.” I just had casual sex with you, I may have said a lot of things I didn’t mean, to get in your pants. I want you to go away now and I am not responsible for how you feel.
“Can’t we just do something fun?” I know you’re deep in personal crisis right now, I know the climate is changing and species extinction is happening but I’d rather not think about any of that or have to feel responsible in any way, please take your problems/do gooding someplace else.
“You aren’t any fun to be around.” You are depressed, anxious, hurt, and I don’t want to be overtly un-PC by mentioning this. You have real problems and I have no desire to help. I don’t like it when you cry. When I did the things that were just a bit of harmless fun and you didn’t like it and cried, I felt uncomfortable and I’m blaming you for that.
“Person X is far more fun than you.” I want you to compete for my attention, and I hope you feel insecure and like I might be going to spend more time with them and less with you.
“We just went out and had some fun.” I spent over fifty pounds on booze, threw up on a stranger, undertook some random acts of vandalism, I’ve lost one of my shoes and am itchy in a way that makes me wonder if I caught an STD, but I don’t really remember having sex.
“We had to make our own fun.” I lived somewhere with nothing to do and as a consequence spent my formative years with underage drinking and sex being my main hobbies. I have amused myself by doing things that I know it is advisable not to mention in public, either because they’re illegal, or shockingly dull.
It’s not an exhaustive list, but it’s a flavour. I’ve had variations on a lot of these conversations along the way, (although that last one owes a lot to my teens) and I’ve learned to recognise ‘fun’ as a hazardous word, and when people start using it this way… it’s no fun at all!