How to be a purist
Send them back to America where they belong,
Wretched potatoes. Evict the rice.
Bloody foreigners, coming over here
Becoming our staples. And the pasta.
Italian nonsense, noodle inspired.
And let me tell you, noodles are not
From round here either.
Send the sweeds back to Sweden
And the brussel sprouts back to Brussels.
Send back the Danish pastry, the Viennese whirl
The champaign, parmesan, parma ham.
Remove the korma, curry and kebab,
Hound out the homous and hallumi
Say no to tapas and tagliatelli,
Forsake feta, forget focaccia.
Let it be English food for England.
Only the turnip. Meat pies.
Fish without chips.
Patriotism is a dish generally served bland.