Life Without Drama

*Somehow I messed up posting this – my computer was down and I was writing on an unfamiliar machine, sorry about that! Normal service resumes now…*

I’ve had more than a month with no real drama, although there have been plenty of intense and challenging things going on. None of the big stuff of late has happened with extra arm waving from me or anyone else. It’s been a very measured time, with things being tackled, not expanded. I’ve not missed the drama at all, but have experienced this as a relief. I’ve had arguments that were all about the content and the issues, not about how I should be behaving differently.

Life throws everyone curve balls, and when we’re connected to other people, the odds are at any point we’ve something to fret over. Friends with cancer. The colleague who fell down the stairs recently. The colleague suffering from stress, the various people I know who are dealing with counterproductive management from the hierarchies they have to engage with. The people who have been hurt, and undervalued… I have a long list at the moment of people dealing with difficult things. And yet none of it feels like drama. It feels like life, and people trying to deal with life and qualitatively that’s really different.

Drama is not about problem solving, it’s about drawing people into the crisis, and directing attention towards the person who wants to be in the middle of it. Looking back I suspect patterns of desire for power and significance. Drama created so that someone can suck up time, energy and resources and in so doing, feel important. Drama created to silence me when I needed to talk about something I was having a problem with.

My problem has not been that I like or manufacture drama – I feel fairly confident of that, now. My problem has been that I take other people’s drama seriously and try to be helpful. As I’m a finite being with limited time and energy to deploy, I need to look carefully at where I step up and where I step back. I’m seeing people tackle enormous, life altering things with no drama at all, I do not have to burn myself out for people who create situations so they can demand my help, or for people who have to be at the centre of things and will do anything to stay there.

About Nimue Brown

Druid, author, dreamer, folk enthusiast, parent, wife to the most amazing artist -Tom Brown. Drinker of coffee, maker of puddings. Exploring life as a Pagan, seeking good and meaningful ways to be, struggling with mental health issues and worried about many things. View all posts by Nimue Brown

3 responses to “Life Without Drama

  • catchersrule

    I agree with this, Nimue; I keep trying my damndest to create or add to as little drama as possible, and believe me right now it’s tough. The past year and a half has been tough, on both myself and my husband, due to my own illness, and wow do I hate that! Not burning yourself out for others’ sake is a good thing. We found that even just getting someone who can come in a few hours each day to do things for me and take some of the load off him has helped him a lot. At the same time, though, it’s also the reason why I myself haven’t been around too much till now; like you, I’ve had little to no energy for other people’s issues, and certainly not for drama, so I just took myself off the internet for awhile. That part helps me.

  • Christopher Blackwell

    Our first duty is to take care of ourselves. We are of little value to others if we are falling apart. This may include stepping back, putting down to load to rest and recharge, so that sometime in the future we can get back into the battle. But remember only we know how much we can safely handle, a we cannot let someone else set the limits. Remember that magical empowering word NO! If some one won’t take no for an answer, it just might be time to cut that person out of our lives, for our same. We don’t need petty and toxic dictators, in our lives adding stress to us.

  • karenenneagram

    When trying to help, watch out for the “Yes, but….” merchants. Unless you love them too dearly to do so, turn away. They’ll find a way through – or not – and that’s not ours to be responsible for.

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