Sexual Initiation

I’m hearing rumours of a man who takes young women out into the woods having convinced them that sexual initiation is a good way to go. Of course it isn’t, because like any shortcut to magical insight, spiritual understanding and personal growth, it doesn’t work. Short cuts don’t work, and anyone offering them is mostly interested in something else – sex and money being high on the list.

That said, sex has huge potential to be magical and transformative, intensely spiritual and sacred. It’s important to talk about when to say ‘yes’ to such an experience not least because this also makes the ‘no’ situations easier to recognise.

The reason that people use sex for magic, is the energy involved, and the openness. That energy depends on lust. You’re looking for something hot, intense and with enough trust to allow you to be open so that the second source of magical energy – pleasure- is also available to you. Without desire, a sexual encounter can feel sordid and mechanistic, and that will not deliver you any kind of transformative experience that you want to have. It will instead rob you of joy and dignity. Passion can have all kinds of interesting effects, but anyone who claims their genitals have special magic powers should be treated sceptically.

In a one off sexual encounter with someone you barely know and do not desire, you are not going to achieve the trust, intensity and depth of connection necessary for anything that could be of value to you, to happen. There is no Pagan path that requires you to have lacklustre sex with a stranger to get started. Anyone who tells you otherwise is simply looking to get laid and no matter what mystic nonsense they claim, there is nothing of value in the mix for someone new to their path and seeking an awakening.

Sex magic and sexual initiation in the context of an established relationship can be powerful, magical acts. Love is a form of magic in its own right, with incredible power to open, inspire and transform, regardless of whether you end up shagging the object of your affections. If you want to say yes to sexual initiation, sex magic, physical intimacy for ritual purpose or anything of that shape with someone you know and love, that’s no one’s business but your own and the odds are good things will come of it. The only reason to say yes to sexual initiation from a stranger is because, having seen them in person, you fancy the pants off them such that rolling about in the woods seems very attractive indeed, with any other aspects of that experience coming a happy second.

No lust, no magic.

About Nimue Brown

Druid, author, dreamer, folk enthusiast, parent, polyamourous animist, ant-fash, anti-capitalist, bisexual steampunk. Drinker of coffee, maker of puddings. Exploring life as a Pagan, seeking good and meaningful ways to be, struggling with mental health issues and worried about many things. View all posts by Nimue Brown

7 responses to “Sexual Initiation

  • jfreshly

    I swear if the chick I have lined up to touch my magical dong by the sacred tree in the forest of secrets reads this article and backs out. I’m going to be very upset.

  • witchinsuburbia

    “Yeah, you’re gonna receive all kinds of magickal, spiritual stuff. But you have to get me off first.”

    This would be a good time for the seeker to exercise the spirit-nourishing magick of good common sense. It’s elusive sometimes, but it exists.

  • Stuart

    I was tempted to make a smutty joke, but it’ll keep for another day, because you are making a very good point here. Nothing wrong with people shagging, nothing wrong with people doing magical shagging, even if they don’t know each other well. There’s a lot wrong with people using magic as a form of hoodwinking, coercion or anything that speaks of the unscrupulous use of another human being.

  • Cymraes

    Reblogged this on Cymraes's Corner and commented:
    Reflagging this excellent article as it’s something we must all be aware of – trust must be earned not automatically given just because we follow the same, or a similar spiritual path.

    Stay safe… please.

  • Keeper of the Keys

    Reblogged this on Tales From The Under Gardener's Lodge and commented:
    I am sharing and Reblogging this excellent article. The use of Sex as Initiation into the craft is something that needs to talked about more. In that, while for some it is a valid way, there is opportunity for abuse by some of the more unscrupulous amongst the community. It is something we must all be aware of. It is not always needed and anyone who tells you it is needs to be aware that questions about them will and should be asked. As a good friend of mine as stated in her blog ‘trust must be earned not automatically given just because we follow the same, or a similar spiritual path.’

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